Happy or Sad?

I'm a little twisted tonight on what to write. Part of me is really happy about things and part of me is sad.... Maybe a cathartic writing of both will cure what ails me so here goes.

First of all - sad. I'm turning 39 tomorrow. That's not a bad birthday I know, but when I look at my life I'm not quite where I wanted to be at this point. Financially we are still struggling way too much for me to feel good. I mean I have a degree and this is my 16th year teaching - my husband is working on his doctorate and he's an administrator so you'd think we'd be at least better off, but it's still tough to make it some months. So that makes me not happy.

Second, raising two teenage boys is tougher than I ever thought it would be. With a work-aholic husband I feel like I'm on my own too often and not doing a very good job at it. I know I have great kids, but the question is will I survive their raising?

Third - I often wonder when I look at my life - Is this what I had planned? When I was little I used to think I could conquer everything - but have I even made a dent? I don't know? When you get almost 1/2 through your life you have to start thinking these questions.

Okay - now why am I happy? Well - first of all - tomorrow is my birthday, that should always bring a smile. Second, my husband didn't forget! First time in 5 years!! Third - I won a bet with Pete this morning - even though he says it didn't count, Todd agreed that it did so I won! In case you can't guess, I like to win!!

I'm also happy because my oldest is happier - the cripple has been pretty depressed lately with the cast and all. He's been going to the youth program at McFarlin and the extra attetion from the youth director has made a HUGE difference. He's even walked (thigh-high cast and all) to Classic's and McDonald's. He's happy to go to school. That's probably the best thing - to see him getting social again. It was really hard to see him sit in his room and talk about how nobody wanted to be around him and how he didn't want to go to school. Now he's off to Six Flags this Saturday and loving life. He get's a below the knee cast tomorow - he says its my birthday present. That will be another good thing.

So you see - with each year comes the good the bad - the good and the ugly. I guess it's all just in how you take it. I hope I take it okay!

When it just keeps going.....

I have been "whining" about my husband working too much - too many hours for awhile. I mean really, a middle school principal that has to drive bus routes, drive the volleyball girls to their games - he even had to go up on Labor Day weekend to put a desk together for a secretary. So yea, I've been complaining. But then it keeps coming.

Its easy to say my life is so hard until your husband comes home and says "I have an appointment with three lawyers tomorrow in the city - one from Chicago, one from California, and one from OK". I'm thinking - WOW - what's going on....then he says "It's about my brother - he has another appeal going".

Now - the story is not new, but I thought it was finished. My husband's brother is in prison with a death sentence for shooting and killing a highway patrolman - I guess it's been 9-10 years ago. Anyway - We've been to the trial - we went to the sentencing - each time my well-employed, well-educated husband was called to testify. However - we haven't heard anything for awhile, so... I thought it was done. How do you talk to lawyers about your own brother when you think what he did was wrong?

Anyway - too heavy for a blog probably, but since he doesn't talk about it I needed to. Anyway, tomorrow I don't think I will be complaing!

Totally Impressed!

I have to say it - I was sucked in and mesmerized by the special on Friday night - Stand Up 2 Cancer. First of all - 3 major networks all working together - that's impressive. Then - the talent - musical and otherwise - Talk about impressive. Then there was the science - of course I'm a science nerd so that really got to me. They have technology that can identify and track individual cancer cells. I didn't know that! But it was the stories that really got to me. The children, the loved ones, the survivors and those still fighting. I was reaching for tissues within the first 10 minutes.

The statistics were amazing - 1500 people dies every day from cancer - wow. Both of my grandfather died of cancer - one of lung cancer before I was born - the other from cancer of the spine two weeks after my oldest some was born. Its true, cancer touches everyone's life.

Anyway - the special - was amazing. It felt like a real beginning. I was online making my donation. And - being the nerd I am went all the way the Stand Up 2 Cancer website - I read the "where does the money go" and the "mission statement" I even read all about the board of directors and I am still really impressed. I even ordered my SU2C t-shirt.

Isn't it funny - I'm usually not a bandwagon kind of person - but somehow this just seemed like the right bandwagon to jump on!! The video I've put in(if I did it right) is of all the big female artists singing a song called "stand up" - they were amazing!

See the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrPqNW87ol4


Enjoy!

A Little Insulted

Okay - Its probably not a smart idea to get totally political in a "blog" especially one that my boss follows, but oh well.  I'm known for doing things less than smart.

Here's my beef - I'm a female - I liked Hilary Clinton (obviously I'm a Democrat).  I was proud of her status and achievements as a female.  However as the campaign went on I felt more in line with Oboma's views.  I listened to Hilary's speech at the convention and was proud of Obama's - yes I'm the dorky type who actually watched some of the convention.  Although I'm not as bad as my sister-in-law who DVrd every night so she wouldn't miss a thing - and she lives in Houston - Its a wonder they haven't burned her alive yet!!!

Okay - so getting back to the point - as I listened to McCain's VP choice I had to get a little peeved.  Let's see - 1.  a first term governor 2. claims she has military experience because her son is in the army 3. governor of yes the largest, but fewest populated state and let's not forget the most important 4. she's a female.

Is McCain really thinking that women who were in support of Hilary would just automatically switch to the next candidate in a skirt without being concerned about things like - oh I don't know - issues, policies, programs, things like that?  I'm really glad Sarah Palin can hunt moose and handle a gun - I'm thrilled she is dealing well with a new teen-age pregnancy issue in the family (Lord knows I would have trouble) and I think she's probably a really nice person.  However - I really resent the Republicans thinking that as a woman if I was thinking about voting for one woman on the Democrat side and I'm a little frustrated since that didn't work out well then I'll just switch to whatever side will put a woman on the ticket.

McCain- I'm a woman, but I'm also capable of reasonable thought - I don't just switch my vote around as though I was playing with Legos.  There's a little more on the line here than just a female in the Oval Office - we're talking about the future of our children - I'd like to think such a wise and experienced man could see that!!

Whirlwind Weekend

What a weekend!!! Here it is Sunday evening and I'm just now catching my breath for the first time!!

This weekend was the "wedding celebration" for my older brother. I have 2 older brothers. Both of whom tourtured me throughout my youth. My oldest brother is married with two children living in Houston. Growing up he and I were mortal enimies. However - shortly after I got married we began to see eye to eye - probably because we are pretty much alike - stubborn, sarcastic, hard-headed, anal...well - you can imagine the rest! My second brother - the "middle child" has always been somewhat of a mystery. He never thought school was a big deal - he was always more concerned with partying, easy-going - a real people-pleaser, sort-of a hippie type personality.

Anyway - he was married for 5 years and last summer divorced. He had up untill July lived in Santa Fe, NM. He's an architect/landscape designer (artsy-fartsy dude). Anyway - last January on a plane he meets a woman and they have a great conversation - the next month he flies to Georgia to see her for a week. The next month she flies to New Mexico to see him for a week and this goes back and forth until in June they decide to get married and move to Orlando, Florida. He quits his job, finds a new one, rents his house in New Mexico and they find a house in Florida and they get married and move with her 15 year old daughter from her 1st marriage (her 12 year old from marriage # 2 still lives with his dad in Georgia)to Florida. Let's just say we were shocked!

So - this was the "meet the family weekend". Tammy - my new sister-in-law has two sisters that live in Edmond so they had decided to throw a wedding reception since only a few people had gotten to go to the wedding on the beach in Florida. Being the supportive family we are Ward and Gina my family from Houston drive up Sat. morning (yes on OU's first football game) and we all head to Edmond to meet the family. Now just imagine this - 2 families having never met before coming together. Tammy has 5 siblings - she's the baby - 3 of which were there (2 live in Florida and couldn't make it) Her parents came in from Florida and the spouses of her siblings that came were there - and then there's my brother and his wife and kids, my husband and kids, and my mom.

Can you say a little tension??? Good news is - we all hit it off pretty good - there was quite a bit of alcohol flowing and we laughed a lot. But lets' face it. After the first full week of teaching that was a little more stress than I was hoping for.

But no - that's not all. Mothers can't be outdone. My mom decided since Tammy was having her family welcome us, than my mom's family should welcome her as well. So - what does my mom plan? Why a Sunday brunch of course. That way my Mom's cousins and their children and her friencds can come down and meet Tammy and her kids. So, I get to spend Sunday morning making pinwheels, coffee cakes and few egg caseroles while I'm trying to convince my children to at least pretend they have manners! And now I'm done!!!

Mitchell just asked me if I would take him, Peyton, Hannah and Sam to Andy Aligators and I thought to myself...."are you suicidal?" Wasn't Labor Day originally a holiday set aside to be free from work? The emotional overatures of these family meetings is more work than my real job.....that's not fair!!

So, I've met Tammy the new wife and her kids, it's good - they head back to Florida first thing in the morning. I've comiserated with Ward and his gang from Houston and they also head back first thing in the morning. I've played nice helper and hostess for my mother. Tomorrow - nobody better ask anything of me - I'm planning on sitting in my pajamas all day long!!!!!

The GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY!

Okay - We have the story of the the GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY! What to start with first? Contrary to the title I'm going to save the good for last and end on a positive note - that's what us educators are taught to do so we don't leave bad feelings!!

First the bad..... I'm a morning person. I love the morning! My favorite times have always been 7:15 AM to 8:15 in the morning before school when no one else is there - you would not believe how much work you can get done when no one is around. While the copier alone is amazing - no lines!!!! I just turn on my music (Pandora - thanks Pete) and get down to business. Well I used to. With just Mitch at school it still worked out OK. He's social enough that as soon as a friend or two got there he grabbed a basketball and headed out the door - usually before 8:00 so I still had some quiet time.

However - Now we have both children - and Mitch on crutches to top it off. My mornings are now filled with bickering and picking at one another - snipping and sniping and all of the crap that I used to get to drive away from - IT FOLLOWS ME TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!! Mitch doesn't leave my room since he waits for the elevator to go down to vocal music and Peyton is still too unsure to head straight outside (so he says but I'm doubting this). Its like my peaceful morning has turned into a nightmare!!!! Is it legal to give children away? Speaking of illegal activities let's move on to the UGLY since it almost involved MURDER!

Peyton is an independent thinker - I know in a few years that will be a good quality - however now it often manifests itself in a selfish and self-serving manner. Last year at the last minute he decided all of his friends were playing optimist football so he wanted to play too. This was a little irritating to say the least (its a hassle to sign up late), but we were just really glad he wanted to do something besides sit on his butt and play video games.

Anyway - along comes the deadline for football this year - for the last 3 weeks dad, mom, and best friend's mom have been saying "are you sure you don't want to play football?" and his response has always been "NO". Dad has replied with "Well - you will stay active so it is football or cross country for 6th grade options so make sure you are sure". I'm sure you can see where this story is headed.....

Well on Monday Peyton passes me in the hall after 5th hour and says "Mom - did you remember to sign me up for football?". Yes - my jaw drops to the floor. I reply "WHAT?" He says "Ya -you remember at the pool party when you were talking with Sean's mom I said - okay I'll play football - I thought you heard me". Now - just to keep the story straight - the deadline to sign up was 8/18 and Monday was 8/25.

Anyway to make a very LOOONNGGG story short we spent a very UNGLY 2 1/2 hours at the Optimist gym and $150 and a lot of screaming "Well - I told you On Friday - You just didn't hear me so this is your fault" UGLINESS!!!! Peyton is lucky to be alive - and if anyone out there wants a completely potty trained semi-neat (not really) child I will sell him cheap!!!!

Now - on to the GOOD- I LOVE my new 7th graders! The totally wear me out each day but its a good feeling! I am doing lunch duty out on the playground this year and I really enjoy seeing the faces and interacting with them. They are definitely little hamsters on overdrive but they are nice and they are trying to do the right thing and they are trying their best! A simple High Five or a "great Job" seems to be the highlight of some of their days and it makes me feel like I'm doing a good job!

I always try and go into each year with a fresh look - I try not to take what the teachers from the last year have said too much to heart because kids change and they react differently to different teachers - but I admit the negative vibes coming from some 6th grade teeachers had me a touch worried (not that I would admit it to anyone). But I didn't need to worry at all - Do I need to stay on my toes - INDEED - Do I need to guard my candy - you bet - do I need to keep handing out positive praise - absolutely - but they are good kids and that - that -is a GOOD thing!

Can You Say EXHAUSTED?????

Okay - this is not my first rodeo here, but wow - I'm exhausted!!! I don't think I have ever been this tired after day 2 of a school year - even the years I was pregnant - and that's really saying something!!!!

Maybe it has something to do with getting 2 teenagers to work with me at 7:15 in the morning, or a morning meeting, or maybe lunch duty, or maybe having to coddle my crippled son during my planning period, or duty after school - or maybe its just the really WIRED 7th graders I have. Now don't get me wrong - they are nice kids - they seem to be really good-hearted and kind and friendly, but I'm thinking an image of gas molecules in a constant flux of motion would give you a pretty good picture of what I'm working with!!!

I'm a pretty high-energy teacher and already I'm wondering "How will I keep up?". Is that just the first week talking or my age? Possibly both? It's only a 3 day school week and I'm already wondering whether or not I'll survive!!! That's pretty sad!!

Okay - enough wallowing in my exhaustion! I'm now mentally pulling up my boot-straps. A good 8 hours of sleep and I will be as good as new (or close enough for 7th graders). Tomorrow will be another success - and then.....I can collapse for the weekend.

Hey kids - guess what - its XBox and Wii all weekend - Mom needs to recover from the first week of school!!!!