Feeling Ashamed!

Today was pretty much of a bummer day.... We had some great presentations by some excellent teachers all telling us things like "remember the children we teach are still just kids", and "don't all kids deserve second chances", and "kids don't always mean to be the obnoxious twits they are"! As I sat through all of these presentations I kept telling myself - well duh..... As a teacher over the last three years I feel that I have the opportunity to attend some fabulous professonal development and really change my attitude toward the kids I teach and why they are they way the are and how to approach them. But there is a flip side to the story - I'm a mother!!

Last night I was at my 7th grade Team party (fabulously successful with 4 poeple) when my son (13) called me screaming and crying. He was truly screaming so loud that I had to hold the phone from my ear - when I did so I looked at 4 totally shocked faces! I tried to calm him down and discuss the issue but about all I could get out of him was "Mitchell did....." Mitchell being the older 14 year old is yelling in the background. I asked to talk to him so he gets on the phone - but instead of talking to me he rants at his brother dropping the F-bomb left and right. At this point the 4 faces are looking more embarassed than I am across the table at me!!!

When I got home I was still so mad and embarassed I tore into them - I gave them the riot act like you wouldn't believe. How dare they embarass me that way in front of the people I work with - How was I to go to work and face those teachers again. Of course you can imagine the response - Mitchell breaks down and says "Fine Mom since I'm such an embarassment just kill me and then you don't have to worry". Peyton's response is a little less sharp "We never can please you can we?"

Okay - so tell me why I can sit through meetings and totally get it about the kids I teach but not my own!!!

They are 13 and 14 - according to the experts they are self-centered - so the fight about the XBox last night was life or death to them - my feelings were not in their mind.
They are in the now - when I got home they had already made up and I just re-started the whole thing by yelling.
They have fragile self-concepts and I broke pieces off because I was embarassed.

Let me tell you folks - it's a whole different ball game when those adolescents that youare trying to deal with are your own!!! As I listened to each of the presentations today all I could think of was that I needed to go home and hug my kiddos and tell them that I was sorry! Sorry for yelling - sorry for over-reacting, sorry for not understanding where they were coming from, and sorry for hurting their feelings!!

The nice thing is - ice cream before dinner forgives a lot of mistakes!!!!