Mexico 16

Wow - What an adventure.  All I can say is amazing!!!  The first day we get to McAllen, Texas my wallet is stolen.  I lose my debit card, driver's license, ss card, etc.  That's pretty crappy - you'd think it would just go downhill from there, but no.  Once we get to our site and meet our family and start work - everything else moves to the back of my mind.

I was supposed to be in Mexico.  It was an amazing experience for both me and the boys.  getting to meet the families - getting to know my group - moving outside my realm of comfort was unbelievable.

I feel like I have found a little part of me that I didn't really know was lost.  Trying to talk to our maestro my spanish tarted coming back -it was so fun.  Soon we all started doing the half spanish/half english thing with each other!  It was too funny!  See ing our group interact with the Mexican children near our work site was so uplifting.  It was just people with people - 

Working hard all day - getting up at 5:45 and going to bed at 11:00 or so - sheer exhaustion has never felt so good.  We got home late last night and Mitchell looked at his bedroom and said - "You know Mom - my room is about the same size as the houses we were building - it really makes you thankful"!

Mission accomplished!

Almost Time to Go!!

Two days and counting until we leave for Mexico! Right now I'm a nervous Nelly about the details. Is all of the laundry done? Do I have everything on the list??

Evidently I am the biggest dork who follows rules too carefully!! I read the packing list and it specifically said shorts - no shorter than 1 inch above the knee. So - me being me - pulled out the ruler and measured my shorts. First might I say that looking at myself in shorts made me want to gag!!!! But - I found out that my shorts were too short - not Dasiy Duke short, but just not 1" above the knee either. So - like a good little rule follower I went to target and bought a couple of new shorts and dug out old capris to add to the packing. Then when I get to our Mexico meeting last Sunday and confess my concerns I was laughed at. Yes - laughed at! All those "done it befores" said no-one really cares that much about the length of the shorts as long as they aren't too short. Oh well - now I have some new cute bermudas - too bad I will be using them to build cement houses in!!!

My other dilemma is when to say no. We were asked to bring school supplies to leave at the church so I went shopping last week and loaded up. There is also on the list things to bring for the children of the families who we are building houses for - like toys, stuffed animals, balls, etc. We have changed our building location and now are going to be building around a school. So now I want to load up on toys to bring. However - between the school supplies and the traveling supplies (and the new shorts) its getting a little expensive.....So - I settled on bubbles. Bubbles are cool aren't they? I bought several packages of bottles of bubbles. All kids like bubbles right?

Composting Dog Poop - is it going too Far?

Okay - so I'm into the "green" thing. We recycle as much as we can. I love the new PlanetGreen channel 102. "Living with Ed" is one of my favorites! I'm trying to convince my husband a hybrid is worth the cost. Anyway - I have two rather large dogs - and they produce a large amount of waste - what do you do with it?

So - I'm reading - watching and I come across this website that has a solution. A dog poop composter! How cool is that? So - you take a trashcan - with a lid and cut off the bottom and put several holes in it. Bury it into a hole into the ground unti the top is just a fe inches above the ground. You need to put some rocks and sand in the hole to help with drainage.

So - you scoop the poop - put it in the can - the lid keeps it from smelling. Each week add some septic starter and a little water. The poop breaks down - filters through the rock and sand and seeps back into the ground. Safe for the environment!

What a deal!

http://www.plantea.com/dog-waste-compost.htm

ARRRGGG!!!

Why is it that the two weeks BEFORE spring break (your supposed vacation) are always the most stressful?? I feel like I am working up enough stress that there is no way possible for just one week off to ever unwind it all!!

Remind me again why we choose to do an interdisciplinary unit in the spring right before testing right before spring break? Oh yea - that's right - we're crazy!!! And as if that's note enough we decide it would be even better to shoot for a Success Day the following week - the Friday before spring break!! Lord - what were we thinking???

Then there's Mexico - not that that's a bad thing - jsut details! And when I can't get the details down - I get worried. Like - what do I pack? Normally by now I have a list of what I plan to take on the trip - but noone has told me what I should be taking. I'm a newbie here for this mission trip deal. What exactly does one take to Mexico? I need a list - instructions! I'm anal! I need to be packed at least a full 4 days before we plan to leave!!!

Then we have the hearth and home details. How exactly do I clean the how well enough so that it might still be reasonably clean by the time we get home???? I need to get the spinach planted which means I need to get the garden turned and compost added! Do I have shorts that I would be caught dead in? Then again do I care? How do I convince my husband to have a new car waiting for me when I get home? (That's one that I'm really working on!)

See - details - it's all in the details! What's an anal retentive control freak like me supposed to do?

Mexico Here We Come!

Okay - - so maybe I'm crazy - but that's nothing new. My oldest gets talked into to going on a mission trip to Mexico during spring break with his friends and I think - What a great idea for him. He needs a break - he needs a little lesson in humility as well as a reminder of how fortunate we are and a reminder of the meaning of "doing for others".

Then - a couple of weeks ago amidst a minor personal breakdown a friend says "why don't you go to Mexico too? At first I think NO WAY...how could I? What about the house? The dogs? The world? Then I think...wait...I could..... SO I very quickly see if my youngest could go too, and sure enough he can and within the span of 24 hours not only is Mitchell going to Mexico, but Peyton and I are too.

Now - normally this is the sort of the thing that would cause a planner like me to panic. I'm not in charge of anything! Arrgg!! There are teenagers in charge of my team - oh no! But guess what? I feel amazingly at peace! Imagine that. Ever since I made the choice to go all I feel is calm and relaxed about the choice. Its the strangest feeling - almost as if this is something I'm supposed to do!

In our Team Meetings I just sit back and watch the dynamics of the kids/semi-adults as they lead and its refreshing - I don't feel compelled to jump in an do anything!

What's also really strange is that right now the news is fell of panic and worry over Mexico which would normally have me freaking out, but somehow I still feel calm....

I think one of the things I have been needing or missing is my own sense of community and maybe this is giving it to me. Mitchell and I went to church this morning and had a very nice time - again I felt peaceful.

We'll see if it lasts.

They way I'm figuring it is that if rebels or whoever try and kidnap me they will decide within minutes that that "crazy white woman" is too bossy and they will want to get rid of me immediately so I figure I'm safe. And Peyton - well he's Peyton - he would wear them out in a heartbeat so he's pretty safe too! Mitchell? Well we'll have to keep him safely hidden!

Crap, Crap, and More Crap!!!!!

Just when you think you're done with it it keeps popping up - kind of like a wart that you thought was gone so you stopped putting medicine on it, stopped wearing the band-aids, and sure enough just as you started to forget it it pops up again~ CRAP!!!!!

My husband's youth was crap, his family was crap, and dealing with it now is still - you guessed it - CRAP!

Shortly after I started working at Alcott, I guess its been almost 9 years his brother shot and killed a highway patrol officer during a no-knock drug warrant. It was a lovely affair where he and his then 16 year old son fired upon a car full of officers who drove onto his property with the lights off and their weapons loaded - one of the shots went through the car door and killed the officer.

That began the CRAP of the century. You then have a trial and then a sentencing - then you have an appeal of the sentence and another and another. A death sentence was handed down, but that has been in appeals for several years.

The real crap of the situation is that my husband is one of very few in the whole family (several generations) to get any education beyond high school. He is a professional - and unlike the brother in prison and the other brother - he neither does, sells, or makes drugs - imagine that. needless to say he makes a good character witness so he's called in every time.

Anyway - trying to tie up a long story. Every time a new lawyer comes on the scene they want to sit down with Steve and have him dredge of the horror of their youth as an explanation as to why Kenny would behave the way he did as an adult. Of course that's just the defense side - when they start talking there is always the prosecuter's side who wants to hold Steve up and say "If he could crawl out and make something of himself - then everyone should be able to". It's a tug-of-war with Steve in the middle fighting a personal moral battle of his own.

Anyway - I am going on again - the point is - the phone call came again this evening. new lawyers in town this Friday - Steve has to meet them Friday afternoon and Saturday for interviews - These guys are from Ohio - OH Goody!!! So he gets to drive to Salisaw and spend the weekend dredging up unpleasant memories.

The real trouble is I'm not sure how to help him - right now we as a couple are rocky at best - mostly because he keeps everything in and can't deal with feelings and relationships - I know after what I just wrote it's real no wonder why. But - after these meetings we used to be able to talk a little and at least I felt like I helped - but now we don't really even talk - what do I do? Mitchell's worried about him.....he'll come home and be more withdrawn.

CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!!!! I had plans for starting the new year on a better footer - out smoother, calmer, maybe even a little closer? And now - CRAP!

What Did The Break Bring?

Hmm....What did the break bring? I would have thought the break would have brought more time to blog - but as I was "chided" today - guess not - but it did bring several things!!!

Let's see - rest - YES!!! I think I needed that almost most of all. Those who know me know I'm a morning person, my time at school around 7:15 AM is my favorite time of the day - no-one around - I get so much done. However, I think I ran my tank a little dry because during the break there was MANY a morning where I was still alseep at 9:00 AM - sometimes even 10:00 - that's unheard of for me - I think it's been since high school since I did that - definitely PRE-Children!!!!

Quality time - definitely!! The boys and I did do that - "Catch-Phrase" was fun, quite a few rounds of poker, even a new game - "Fact or Crap" - sounds bad, but it was really fun!!! Of course the boys - all three enjoyed the 360 and the Wii - Dad bringing home a LCD projector and clearing the pictures off one wall didn't hurt either!!!!

Spending money? Always good at that - got a little extra money from the farm so I spent too much for Christmas - isn't that how it always works? But the look on Mitchell's face when he opened the new Ipod touch that I had convinced him he wasn't going to get was definitely worth it!! Mom is GOOD!!! He thought the box was clothes!! I rock!

Enjoying the dogs - you bet. Poor tubbo Max had trouble keeping up but we had several outings to Sutton - Maggie has energy to spare, Max...needs some work!! The trips IN the lake though - GROSS!!!

Driving - or rather letting Mitchell drive?? Scary!!! It kills me to think I have a child nearly old enough to drive... he backed out of my mother's driveway and drove the block to ours and pulled in to our driveway!! I was a little nervous about the whole driving through the house possibility..but he pulled in safe and sound - a little crooked, but no smashed house!!!!

Reading - My favorite thing. My "secret Santa" gave me a gift certificate to the "crazy Ladies" Used Book Store - What a great idea for someone who reads 5-6 books a week!! I read 22 over the break!! Yes - I even read "Twighlight" - I know - how could I, but not only did all of my kids read it but all my friends did too so I had too - surprisingly good - although now I have to read the rest of them - that's the bummer about series! So watch out Lori - I'm going to fight you for Rhonda's books!!!

Anyway - it was a good break - not necessarily a lot of progress on the marriage front, but then again we didn't do a lot of damage either so I guess that's good.

New Rules for the new Year -

1. Eat Breakfast - Going without is not doing me too well - dropping a size is good, but 2?? Probably not a good idea!

2. Chill - I need to breathe a little more - Breathe before I act or react.

3. Have more faith in my kiddos - My children are good kids - I need to try not to be so hard on them - accept that they (like all of us) are not perfect.

4. Enjoy each day!!

It was great to be back at school!!!!

Gadzooks - I think I have the Answer!!

I have finally solved the problem that has plagued us for years - Why is it that we tend to gain weight in the cooler months and lose weight in the warmer months? I know those scientist people will try to tell you its a hold over from Mother Nature and the desire to hibernate, but they are full of it. I have finally figured the answer out. I have always been puzzled over why it tend to have trouble with my clothes fitting in the fall and winter (too tight) and a little trouble in the spring and summer (too lose) - and for me - someone who tries to stay in shape and eat right this was a real problem! Not any more - its TV!!! Yes- I said it TV. I am putting the blame squarely on the shoulders where it belongs - on TV.

Think about it - here we are and it's fall again, and what has happened? It's new season time. Grey's Anatomy is back - better than ever. Heroes is back where everything is getting turned all around - evil villains are becoming good and good characters are going bad. Then you have Private Practice where some steam is rising. You even have Chuck - who comes in and wins one or two for the geeks squads!! Then you have these new ones that you have to test out - Mentalist? Is it going to work? Don't know yet... Night Rider...not again, please! Life....maybe another season. Then you have the reality shows....America's Got Talent...the opera guy? Come on - a million dollars? Dancing with Stars...I revolt until the old lady goes! And then what about old favorites on off channels like House - the personality master? Then you have HBO coming with the True Blood Series who would have thought vampires in a small town would have been interesting? Then..as if if that's not enough - you have things like Political Debates to watch.

So as you can clearly see it is the fault of TV that I can't get to the gym as often as I should. It is the fault of TV that I am sitting down having a snack in front of it with my kids watching instead of out running a few miles. I've thought about this long and hard. You see - in the spring what happens...RE-RUNS!!! Nothing is on TV to watch so the gym and outside is a great place to be because nothing is on TV anyway.

So I have come to the conclusion that the few extra pounds I carry in the winter months can clearly be blamed on TV - I think I have a good case here - don't you?

What Will I Do...

Have you ever thought what you will do when you turn 96? It's really kind of an interesting question. And in my family - evidently one that needs to be asked quite often. We have an odd mix of family traits - half our family side (my mom's) has a history of senility & Alzheimers while the other side (my dad's) has a history of living a long life. Add those two together - what do you get?? ME - living long but being CRAZY!!!

Anyway - this is where this started - I have a great aunt - Aunt Ruby - She is my late grandfather's sister. She lives alone in Clovis, New Mexico and she is 96 years old - yes I said alone! Over the last couple of years it has gotten a little worse for her (not that anyone is surprised) - her hearing is pretty bad and she has trouble getting around. She and her husband (who died ten years ago) never had children so my Mom and my brothers and I have been like her kids - my poor Mom has inherited taking care of her. Mom and I and my boys have always visited each summer and we keep in touch - well we couldn't go this summer because Mitch broke his leg and my Mom was in Alaska. Boy did it all hit the fan!!!

While my Mom was gone her Minister called saying she had fallen and wouldn't go to the doctor. Then her part-time house-keeper called and said she was hearing voices and was saying she was convinced that the neighbors were planning a plot to come and kidnap her. Her lawyer called and wanted to know why we didn't have a power of attorney for her. Now this was all good and well, but if I say MULE can you get a picture in your mind? Aunt Ruby is 5 feet tall 96 years old and more stubborn than me and my son Peyton put together (now that's really saying something). According to her she's fine, she's not deaf, she's not hearing things, she did not fall, and no one is going to have any power over her!!!

Well, we thought we would let it slide, but the housekeeper called again and so did the minister - Mom is worried. Evidently she has fallen again - this time she did go to the doctor but she won't take the medicine because it makes her tired and she doesn't want to sleep that much - she has more important things to do - She's 96 years old - what else does she have to do?????

I swear - she's a mess. However - she wins! Mitch and Mom and I will be heading to Clovis for Fall Break - Yippee! My job as the youngster is to try and convince her I need to meet her doctor so we can get her back in to the doctor while my Mom gets to mention a "power of attorney". Mitch will get to just try and keep the peace when it all goes to heck in a handbasket!!

What will I do when I'm 96? I hope to heck I've moved somewhere so my kids aren't trying to take care of me. I want to learn shuffleboard and bridge while I'm still young enough to remember that I've learned the skills. And if my Mom's side of the family is any indication - maybe I should start making plans for my 50th!!!!!

Happy or Sad?

I'm a little twisted tonight on what to write. Part of me is really happy about things and part of me is sad.... Maybe a cathartic writing of both will cure what ails me so here goes.

First of all - sad. I'm turning 39 tomorrow. That's not a bad birthday I know, but when I look at my life I'm not quite where I wanted to be at this point. Financially we are still struggling way too much for me to feel good. I mean I have a degree and this is my 16th year teaching - my husband is working on his doctorate and he's an administrator so you'd think we'd be at least better off, but it's still tough to make it some months. So that makes me not happy.

Second, raising two teenage boys is tougher than I ever thought it would be. With a work-aholic husband I feel like I'm on my own too often and not doing a very good job at it. I know I have great kids, but the question is will I survive their raising?

Third - I often wonder when I look at my life - Is this what I had planned? When I was little I used to think I could conquer everything - but have I even made a dent? I don't know? When you get almost 1/2 through your life you have to start thinking these questions.

Okay - now why am I happy? Well - first of all - tomorrow is my birthday, that should always bring a smile. Second, my husband didn't forget! First time in 5 years!! Third - I won a bet with Pete this morning - even though he says it didn't count, Todd agreed that it did so I won! In case you can't guess, I like to win!!

I'm also happy because my oldest is happier - the cripple has been pretty depressed lately with the cast and all. He's been going to the youth program at McFarlin and the extra attetion from the youth director has made a HUGE difference. He's even walked (thigh-high cast and all) to Classic's and McDonald's. He's happy to go to school. That's probably the best thing - to see him getting social again. It was really hard to see him sit in his room and talk about how nobody wanted to be around him and how he didn't want to go to school. Now he's off to Six Flags this Saturday and loving life. He get's a below the knee cast tomorow - he says its my birthday present. That will be another good thing.

So you see - with each year comes the good the bad - the good and the ugly. I guess it's all just in how you take it. I hope I take it okay!

When it just keeps going.....

I have been "whining" about my husband working too much - too many hours for awhile. I mean really, a middle school principal that has to drive bus routes, drive the volleyball girls to their games - he even had to go up on Labor Day weekend to put a desk together for a secretary. So yea, I've been complaining. But then it keeps coming.

Its easy to say my life is so hard until your husband comes home and says "I have an appointment with three lawyers tomorrow in the city - one from Chicago, one from California, and one from OK". I'm thinking - WOW - what's going on....then he says "It's about my brother - he has another appeal going".

Now - the story is not new, but I thought it was finished. My husband's brother is in prison with a death sentence for shooting and killing a highway patrolman - I guess it's been 9-10 years ago. Anyway - We've been to the trial - we went to the sentencing - each time my well-employed, well-educated husband was called to testify. However - we haven't heard anything for awhile, so... I thought it was done. How do you talk to lawyers about your own brother when you think what he did was wrong?

Anyway - too heavy for a blog probably, but since he doesn't talk about it I needed to. Anyway, tomorrow I don't think I will be complaing!

Totally Impressed!

I have to say it - I was sucked in and mesmerized by the special on Friday night - Stand Up 2 Cancer. First of all - 3 major networks all working together - that's impressive. Then - the talent - musical and otherwise - Talk about impressive. Then there was the science - of course I'm a science nerd so that really got to me. They have technology that can identify and track individual cancer cells. I didn't know that! But it was the stories that really got to me. The children, the loved ones, the survivors and those still fighting. I was reaching for tissues within the first 10 minutes.

The statistics were amazing - 1500 people dies every day from cancer - wow. Both of my grandfather died of cancer - one of lung cancer before I was born - the other from cancer of the spine two weeks after my oldest some was born. Its true, cancer touches everyone's life.

Anyway - the special - was amazing. It felt like a real beginning. I was online making my donation. And - being the nerd I am went all the way the Stand Up 2 Cancer website - I read the "where does the money go" and the "mission statement" I even read all about the board of directors and I am still really impressed. I even ordered my SU2C t-shirt.

Isn't it funny - I'm usually not a bandwagon kind of person - but somehow this just seemed like the right bandwagon to jump on!! The video I've put in(if I did it right) is of all the big female artists singing a song called "stand up" - they were amazing!

See the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrPqNW87ol4


Enjoy!

A Little Insulted

Okay - Its probably not a smart idea to get totally political in a "blog" especially one that my boss follows, but oh well.  I'm known for doing things less than smart.

Here's my beef - I'm a female - I liked Hilary Clinton (obviously I'm a Democrat).  I was proud of her status and achievements as a female.  However as the campaign went on I felt more in line with Oboma's views.  I listened to Hilary's speech at the convention and was proud of Obama's - yes I'm the dorky type who actually watched some of the convention.  Although I'm not as bad as my sister-in-law who DVrd every night so she wouldn't miss a thing - and she lives in Houston - Its a wonder they haven't burned her alive yet!!!

Okay - so getting back to the point - as I listened to McCain's VP choice I had to get a little peeved.  Let's see - 1.  a first term governor 2. claims she has military experience because her son is in the army 3. governor of yes the largest, but fewest populated state and let's not forget the most important 4. she's a female.

Is McCain really thinking that women who were in support of Hilary would just automatically switch to the next candidate in a skirt without being concerned about things like - oh I don't know - issues, policies, programs, things like that?  I'm really glad Sarah Palin can hunt moose and handle a gun - I'm thrilled she is dealing well with a new teen-age pregnancy issue in the family (Lord knows I would have trouble) and I think she's probably a really nice person.  However - I really resent the Republicans thinking that as a woman if I was thinking about voting for one woman on the Democrat side and I'm a little frustrated since that didn't work out well then I'll just switch to whatever side will put a woman on the ticket.

McCain- I'm a woman, but I'm also capable of reasonable thought - I don't just switch my vote around as though I was playing with Legos.  There's a little more on the line here than just a female in the Oval Office - we're talking about the future of our children - I'd like to think such a wise and experienced man could see that!!

Whirlwind Weekend

What a weekend!!! Here it is Sunday evening and I'm just now catching my breath for the first time!!

This weekend was the "wedding celebration" for my older brother. I have 2 older brothers. Both of whom tourtured me throughout my youth. My oldest brother is married with two children living in Houston. Growing up he and I were mortal enimies. However - shortly after I got married we began to see eye to eye - probably because we are pretty much alike - stubborn, sarcastic, hard-headed, anal...well - you can imagine the rest! My second brother - the "middle child" has always been somewhat of a mystery. He never thought school was a big deal - he was always more concerned with partying, easy-going - a real people-pleaser, sort-of a hippie type personality.

Anyway - he was married for 5 years and last summer divorced. He had up untill July lived in Santa Fe, NM. He's an architect/landscape designer (artsy-fartsy dude). Anyway - last January on a plane he meets a woman and they have a great conversation - the next month he flies to Georgia to see her for a week. The next month she flies to New Mexico to see him for a week and this goes back and forth until in June they decide to get married and move to Orlando, Florida. He quits his job, finds a new one, rents his house in New Mexico and they find a house in Florida and they get married and move with her 15 year old daughter from her 1st marriage (her 12 year old from marriage # 2 still lives with his dad in Georgia)to Florida. Let's just say we were shocked!

So - this was the "meet the family weekend". Tammy - my new sister-in-law has two sisters that live in Edmond so they had decided to throw a wedding reception since only a few people had gotten to go to the wedding on the beach in Florida. Being the supportive family we are Ward and Gina my family from Houston drive up Sat. morning (yes on OU's first football game) and we all head to Edmond to meet the family. Now just imagine this - 2 families having never met before coming together. Tammy has 5 siblings - she's the baby - 3 of which were there (2 live in Florida and couldn't make it) Her parents came in from Florida and the spouses of her siblings that came were there - and then there's my brother and his wife and kids, my husband and kids, and my mom.

Can you say a little tension??? Good news is - we all hit it off pretty good - there was quite a bit of alcohol flowing and we laughed a lot. But lets' face it. After the first full week of teaching that was a little more stress than I was hoping for.

But no - that's not all. Mothers can't be outdone. My mom decided since Tammy was having her family welcome us, than my mom's family should welcome her as well. So - what does my mom plan? Why a Sunday brunch of course. That way my Mom's cousins and their children and her friencds can come down and meet Tammy and her kids. So, I get to spend Sunday morning making pinwheels, coffee cakes and few egg caseroles while I'm trying to convince my children to at least pretend they have manners! And now I'm done!!!

Mitchell just asked me if I would take him, Peyton, Hannah and Sam to Andy Aligators and I thought to myself...."are you suicidal?" Wasn't Labor Day originally a holiday set aside to be free from work? The emotional overatures of these family meetings is more work than my real job.....that's not fair!!

So, I've met Tammy the new wife and her kids, it's good - they head back to Florida first thing in the morning. I've comiserated with Ward and his gang from Houston and they also head back first thing in the morning. I've played nice helper and hostess for my mother. Tomorrow - nobody better ask anything of me - I'm planning on sitting in my pajamas all day long!!!!!

The GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY!

Okay - We have the story of the the GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY! What to start with first? Contrary to the title I'm going to save the good for last and end on a positive note - that's what us educators are taught to do so we don't leave bad feelings!!

First the bad..... I'm a morning person. I love the morning! My favorite times have always been 7:15 AM to 8:15 in the morning before school when no one else is there - you would not believe how much work you can get done when no one is around. While the copier alone is amazing - no lines!!!! I just turn on my music (Pandora - thanks Pete) and get down to business. Well I used to. With just Mitch at school it still worked out OK. He's social enough that as soon as a friend or two got there he grabbed a basketball and headed out the door - usually before 8:00 so I still had some quiet time.

However - Now we have both children - and Mitch on crutches to top it off. My mornings are now filled with bickering and picking at one another - snipping and sniping and all of the crap that I used to get to drive away from - IT FOLLOWS ME TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!! Mitch doesn't leave my room since he waits for the elevator to go down to vocal music and Peyton is still too unsure to head straight outside (so he says but I'm doubting this). Its like my peaceful morning has turned into a nightmare!!!! Is it legal to give children away? Speaking of illegal activities let's move on to the UGLY since it almost involved MURDER!

Peyton is an independent thinker - I know in a few years that will be a good quality - however now it often manifests itself in a selfish and self-serving manner. Last year at the last minute he decided all of his friends were playing optimist football so he wanted to play too. This was a little irritating to say the least (its a hassle to sign up late), but we were just really glad he wanted to do something besides sit on his butt and play video games.

Anyway - along comes the deadline for football this year - for the last 3 weeks dad, mom, and best friend's mom have been saying "are you sure you don't want to play football?" and his response has always been "NO". Dad has replied with "Well - you will stay active so it is football or cross country for 6th grade options so make sure you are sure". I'm sure you can see where this story is headed.....

Well on Monday Peyton passes me in the hall after 5th hour and says "Mom - did you remember to sign me up for football?". Yes - my jaw drops to the floor. I reply "WHAT?" He says "Ya -you remember at the pool party when you were talking with Sean's mom I said - okay I'll play football - I thought you heard me". Now - just to keep the story straight - the deadline to sign up was 8/18 and Monday was 8/25.

Anyway to make a very LOOONNGGG story short we spent a very UNGLY 2 1/2 hours at the Optimist gym and $150 and a lot of screaming "Well - I told you On Friday - You just didn't hear me so this is your fault" UGLINESS!!!! Peyton is lucky to be alive - and if anyone out there wants a completely potty trained semi-neat (not really) child I will sell him cheap!!!!

Now - on to the GOOD- I LOVE my new 7th graders! The totally wear me out each day but its a good feeling! I am doing lunch duty out on the playground this year and I really enjoy seeing the faces and interacting with them. They are definitely little hamsters on overdrive but they are nice and they are trying to do the right thing and they are trying their best! A simple High Five or a "great Job" seems to be the highlight of some of their days and it makes me feel like I'm doing a good job!

I always try and go into each year with a fresh look - I try not to take what the teachers from the last year have said too much to heart because kids change and they react differently to different teachers - but I admit the negative vibes coming from some 6th grade teeachers had me a touch worried (not that I would admit it to anyone). But I didn't need to worry at all - Do I need to stay on my toes - INDEED - Do I need to guard my candy - you bet - do I need to keep handing out positive praise - absolutely - but they are good kids and that - that -is a GOOD thing!

Can You Say EXHAUSTED?????

Okay - this is not my first rodeo here, but wow - I'm exhausted!!! I don't think I have ever been this tired after day 2 of a school year - even the years I was pregnant - and that's really saying something!!!!

Maybe it has something to do with getting 2 teenagers to work with me at 7:15 in the morning, or a morning meeting, or maybe lunch duty, or maybe having to coddle my crippled son during my planning period, or duty after school - or maybe its just the really WIRED 7th graders I have. Now don't get me wrong - they are nice kids - they seem to be really good-hearted and kind and friendly, but I'm thinking an image of gas molecules in a constant flux of motion would give you a pretty good picture of what I'm working with!!!

I'm a pretty high-energy teacher and already I'm wondering "How will I keep up?". Is that just the first week talking or my age? Possibly both? It's only a 3 day school week and I'm already wondering whether or not I'll survive!!! That's pretty sad!!

Okay - enough wallowing in my exhaustion! I'm now mentally pulling up my boot-straps. A good 8 hours of sleep and I will be as good as new (or close enough for 7th graders). Tomorrow will be another success - and then.....I can collapse for the weekend.

Hey kids - guess what - its XBox and Wii all weekend - Mom needs to recover from the first week of school!!!!

Feeling Ashamed!

Today was pretty much of a bummer day.... We had some great presentations by some excellent teachers all telling us things like "remember the children we teach are still just kids", and "don't all kids deserve second chances", and "kids don't always mean to be the obnoxious twits they are"! As I sat through all of these presentations I kept telling myself - well duh..... As a teacher over the last three years I feel that I have the opportunity to attend some fabulous professonal development and really change my attitude toward the kids I teach and why they are they way the are and how to approach them. But there is a flip side to the story - I'm a mother!!

Last night I was at my 7th grade Team party (fabulously successful with 4 poeple) when my son (13) called me screaming and crying. He was truly screaming so loud that I had to hold the phone from my ear - when I did so I looked at 4 totally shocked faces! I tried to calm him down and discuss the issue but about all I could get out of him was "Mitchell did....." Mitchell being the older 14 year old is yelling in the background. I asked to talk to him so he gets on the phone - but instead of talking to me he rants at his brother dropping the F-bomb left and right. At this point the 4 faces are looking more embarassed than I am across the table at me!!!

When I got home I was still so mad and embarassed I tore into them - I gave them the riot act like you wouldn't believe. How dare they embarass me that way in front of the people I work with - How was I to go to work and face those teachers again. Of course you can imagine the response - Mitchell breaks down and says "Fine Mom since I'm such an embarassment just kill me and then you don't have to worry". Peyton's response is a little less sharp "We never can please you can we?"

Okay - so tell me why I can sit through meetings and totally get it about the kids I teach but not my own!!!

They are 13 and 14 - according to the experts they are self-centered - so the fight about the XBox last night was life or death to them - my feelings were not in their mind.
They are in the now - when I got home they had already made up and I just re-started the whole thing by yelling.
They have fragile self-concepts and I broke pieces off because I was embarassed.

Let me tell you folks - it's a whole different ball game when those adolescents that youare trying to deal with are your own!!! As I listened to each of the presentations today all I could think of was that I needed to go home and hug my kiddos and tell them that I was sorry! Sorry for yelling - sorry for over-reacting, sorry for not understanding where they were coming from, and sorry for hurting their feelings!!

The nice thing is - ice cream before dinner forgives a lot of mistakes!!!!

I DEMAND a RECALL!!!!!

Have you ever spent 3 hours of your time and realized you have been cheated? Well - that was my afternoon "science safety" meeting!!!

I should have known I was in trouble when I sat down and Ashley and Susan said "Can you believe this is supposed to last 3 hours?". I'm thinking to myself - 3 hours? Surely not. After the first 30 minutes all I could think was "a 3 hour tour". The Gilligan's Island song continued to play in my head over and over. And who was I stuck with as my captain? Oh yea - my faithful, capable, science curriculum coordinator (a 3 hour tour).

Now - let's think science safety for awhile - first you learn what a fire blanket and a fire extinguisher look like - reminder here - we all have these in our classrooms! Then we get to play games with MSDS sheets. Yes - I said games! Can you match the flammabilty rating with the correct chemical? Can you match the corrosive level with the correct chemical label? Wait - we're not done - only and hour has passed. Now we get to read scenarios of teachers to determine what they did "wrong" in the lab. I know - you're not all science teachers out there but give this one a shot.

Mrs. Gonzales was demonstrating the effect of a rusty nail in boiling water. She had used a bunson burner to boil the water. Once she had completed the demonstration she walked around to the tables to check out the observations her students were making. Whoops - one rascaly student decided to stick a piece of paper in the flame of the bunson burner while her back was turned. What was her mistake? Was she at fault?

PALEASEEEEE!!!!! What kind of idiot turns their back on an open flame? Ginger?

Well, that brings us to hour two - now we get to play another game - using flash cards - determine the appropriate storage cabinet for each chemical. Does it go in the corrosive cabinet? The flammable cabinet? Or general storage? Now - after you spend 20 minutes rearranging the pictures - then you check the hazordous chemical folder that EVERY school has in their chemical storage room that LISTS the proper storage for you!!!!!!!!! (a 3 hour tour....)

Now....we are at about 10 minutes until 4:00 and he is out of fun and games and material - we hope that we are done - NOT. What comes next? Door prizes! Could the door prizes be to leave early? No...... they are science standard textbooks that he has cleaned out of his office...great! He has just enough to keep us there until....4:00!

What can I tell you about safety? Know where the shower is - I already do. Know where your saftey books are - I already do. Read the labels - done! Now, can I have my 3 hours back?

Sit Back and Shut Up!

Sit back and Shut up are commands that I obviously have trouble with. I've probably always had trouble with those words. Seeing as how I was the first girl born into both my father's and mother's sides for 4 generations each!!! - I didn't have to shut up - in fact whatever I said was golden. Coming from that background of being the only girl with two older brothers you can see how shutting up would have its issues. Now - add to that the fact that both of my brothers caused problems in school. Did I? NO - I was the "golden child". I was out to prove to the world that little girls were perfect and it was only those nasty little boys that were troublesome!

So...you can see how my upbringing kind of set me up for a fall in the "real world". As a teacher I have always tried to get better at what I do - teach. I soak up new techniques like a sponge - always looking for a new way to reach kids or make connections. However - what I often have trouble realizing, is that not everyone moves at my pace. That's not good or bad, its just different. When I see "the light" so to speak, I expect everyone to "see the light". That's not how the world or education for that matter works. So I find myself in a position of pushing too much information too fast on too many people and in a rough way. That means I have to stop talking. As I have been told SEVERAL times this summer - "Jessica - you shouldn't talk". But where exactly does that leave me?

Do I hold everything I believe whole-heartedly to be right and good inside and go my own way? Do I play the sneaky back door voice? Am I capable of staying quiet? If today is any indication, than NO - I'm not. I was told not to talk, just to take pictures, and guess what? I talked! Did I ruin things? Am I evil? What exactly is my roll? Why did I learn all of this information if it wasn't to share? I feel like the bluebird with a new song that has it's beak taped shut. If I'm not to sing what am I to do?

I've asked myself that a lot these last couple of weeks and I still struggle with it. Is it enough to make the difference with my kids in my classroom? Do I still feel the need to make an impact on a grander whole school scale? If so, does it need to be a diffrerent school? Am I ready to let the younger, brighter, more energized youth take up the baton for a better school....and if I am, should I still be teaching? What is my roll?

Can I really sit back and shut up? I haven't managed it for 39 years...who thinks I can really do it now?

Pity has its rewards!!!

I'm not sure if it was me whining about having to have a $500 crown (before I can get my braces on!), or the frantic call I made to my mom this morning saying "HELP - I've got to work and my kids won't stop fighting" - but whatever it was, the sympathy did come with rewards!!! When Mitchell and I stopped by her house this afternoon to pick up Peyton - they both said "Surprise"! And what pray tell did they have? A Wii! Yes - that magical item that until a few days ago I didn't even know I wanted or needed! When I looked at her confused she said they just happened to be shopping at Sam's when a new shipment came in so she bought one for herself and one for us!

Now the practical side of me is saying - if she was going to start throwing around money why not pay for the crown!!! But the impractical side of me was saying...didn't they sell Wii Fits too??? Anyway - maybe frustration does make you stronger, maybe turmoil and troubles do make you appreciate what you have more, and maybe...just maybe...whining sometimes works!!!

I'm off now to create something called a "mii"? I thought I already existed....this is going to take getting used to!!!